Dionne Warwick Battled With Oreo on Twitter?

March 28, 2022
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Dionne Warwick Battled With Oreo on Twitter?

What kind of crazy world are we living in? Tae and I were trying to remember the name of the psychic phone networks advertised on TV back in the '90s, and as we were Googling, my browser autocompleted to "Dionne Warwick vs. Oreo."

Just...what?

I suppose there's a good reason I made the little parallel universe short Berensteins;Gate.

I read about that Dionne Warwick vs. Oreo thing, and it didn't seem like a serious throwdown unless I missed something. But, these days, everything seems to have clickbait titles. I wrote about Benjamin Franklin's basement a while back and used a simple title: Benjamin Franklin's Basement. However, when I first learned about it, I stumbled across articles and videos proclaiming him a serial killer.

Maybe I'll title everything using the formulas I see everywhere:

  • THE ONE THING _____ DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW
  • TOP 5 THINGS ABOUT _____
  • _____ CALLS FOR ACTION AGAINST _____
  • _____ WILL HAVE YOU SHOOK
  • _____ BROKE THE INTERNET

Perhaps if I wrote titles like that, I'd get more eyeballs. Gruesome. I honestly don't know what people do with all those eyeballs. Jars? Boxes? Cardboard doesn't hold well when it gets wet. Maybe they string them up as ornaments.

On second thought, I'll stick with reasonable, honest titles. I just don't know what I'd do with all those eyeballs.

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