Dungeons & Dragons Are The Devil™, Pagan Vegetarians, & Whose Timeline Is It Anyway?

July 22, 2024
|
Progress
No items found.

Click the image above for the full gallery.

I've been spending an inordinate amount of time on the phone with my local post office due to an aggressive number of mysteriously missing packages. On a recent visit, I spotted this promo for Dungeons & Dragons forever stamps coming in August.

A large poster of a five-headed dragon on a United States postage stamp.
Oh, how far we've come! Or fallen?

Remember when D&D was The Devil™? Or at least Somewhat Satanic? Actually, there are plenty of people who still think that it teaches children to be Lucifer's Little Minions. Want to take a time machine to see Dungeons & Dragons: Satanic Panic (A Retro Report by The New York Times)? You might also enjoy insane TV footage in the '80s D&D Satanic Panic Supercut, complete with an analysis of the rulebooks that prove you can learn to cast real spells like Teleport!

I've played quite a bit of D&D over the years, and I have yet to learn anything about casting real spells or summoning real demons from it. I'm so disappointed! All my dark hobby knowledge had to come from elsewhere.

It came as quite a shock to see the United States Post Service promoting the Satanic Agenda. It's a damn good thing, too, because Tae and I ordered awesome t-shirts from Dark Harvest Wearables, and USPS actually delivered them instead of losing them—presumably all part of the master plan to spread evil across the lands via hot pagan vegetable merch.

An orange t-shirt with a print of carrots forming an inverted pentagram that says "Honor the Roots." Beside it is a black t-shirt with a white print of vegetables forming an inverted pentagram with text that reads "Hail Salad."
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world to eat their vegetables.
Check out more of owner Dana's designs at Dark Harvest Wearables online shop for paganism meets vegetarianism in the style of classic-through-contemporary metal and rock band/concert shirts. Full disclosure: I don't get anything for sending you there. I just like their shirts. You can follow Dark Harvest Wearables on Instagram. They're a Colorado-based company near one of the places where I used to live.

In other news, what timeline are we on anyway? The world just keeps getting crazier and crazier, like we're living in someone else's bat-shit-crazy fever dream. Please let me know if anyone knows how to get back on something sane.

El Psy Kongroo.

What's New?

  • I have too many story ideas floating around in my head. But I'm writing them all down to revisit after I finish novel revisions.
  • Upcoming Into Horror History: The legendary beast of Abita Springs, Louisiana.
← View all posts